Are You Uncoachable?

You mentioned that you may be "uncoachable". I respectfully doubt that is the case. 

 

Consider that an athlete may have a unique "coaching language". Some athletes may respond best to minimal verbal communication. Other athletes may crave a deeper verbal connection that can be cultivated over the phone. And some may need to work with their coach one-on-one, benefiting from both visual and verbal cues. 

 

Just like an athlete, a coach may have a preferred "language" as well. Many coaches prefer to communicate via email. This gives the coach time to clarify their thought before hitting 'send' and helps them choose when they are 'working'. 

 

Other coaches may despise the informal nature of email, and prefer one-on-one contact to not only demonstrate what they're looking for, but to see how the athlete is responding to their feedback and workouts. There is a lot of value in this hands-on approach, but it is time intensive and difficult to scale. 

 

Ultimately, each method has its advantages and I believe the best approach is a blend of email, in-person, and phone (or Zoom) interaction. 

 

May I make a recommendation? Consider what you 'need' out of a coaching relationship. Then ask your coach if they can provide that for you. This simple action is a great way to inform your coach that you're not receiving everything you need from the relationship, and can open a dialogue to find a middle ground. You must be ready for their answer to be "No". If your coach cannot provide what you need, then a decision to find another coach is understandable. 

 

Last year one of the athletes I personally coach told me that he needed a more personal connection. At the time I was spending more time reviewing and developing his training schedule than any of my other athletes, so I was surprised when he said he needed more. He recommended that we schedule a weekly coaching call. This was unusual for me, as I had never done that with my athletes before, and I was concerned about the intrusion on my personal time. Additionally, phone-correspondence is not my preferred 'coaching language'. Regardless, we scheduled the call, and I was impressed with the detail and depth of conversation we had over the phone. Ultimately, I realized talking in a one-on-one environment like a phone call is his "athlete language", and at the same time I realized the value of this form of coaching communication. Since then I have adopted this technique with all my privately coached athletes, and try to have a 10-30min chat with them weekly. It's some of the most high-value time I spend with any client during the week, and in many cases saves time and improves clarity. 

 

A final thought: just because you may be an independent and private person, you may still benefit from group or in-person interactions (workouts, phone calls, etc). The same goes for highly social people: spending some time training solo or working alone can be eye-opening. Ultimately the goal is to expose ourselves to different stimuli and put ourselves in situations that we may not be 100% comfortable with. This is when real growth takes place. It also tends to create the longest lasting memories. 

 

Some excellent resources to help you find your 'athlete language':

 

> The Inner Game of Tennis, by Timothy Gallwey. 

> The Little Book of Talent, by Daniel Coyle